You smell that?

I’ve realized something about myself- I love scents of food (like vanilla, pie crust, bread baking in a hot oven, apples, really ripe peaches) but I don’t want to smell like food.
Whenever I’m in a cosmetic or bath/body shop, I hover around the perfume, lotions and potions that smell like food. I love them. I buy them and I take them home. I shower in them, cover myself in them afterwards, spray myself down with them. I dab them behind my ears
Then what?
Then I realize I smell like pie. Or like cookies. Or like cake. This is nice because I happen to love pie, cookies and cake.
This is BAD because smelling like food does 2 things for me:
1) It makes me REALLY hungry…usually for whatever food I happen to smell like
2) It makes me feel sticky. Aren’t sweets usually sticky? Maybe that’s just my perception of sweets
3) I think people think I spend all day in a bakery. And that’s not natural (unless you are a baker. I happen to be in marketing)
4) I feel like I’ve actually consumed a great number of sweets. I usually end up feeling really full.
I realize these feelings are probably not normal, but this is my blog so I’m sharing. People should not smell like food. They should smell like Chanel or Dior or Vera Wang. I don’t want to smell like food. That is, unless I spend all day in a kitchen, slaving over beautiful, sweet, warm food.